Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Day Sixty-Three...First Day

So, I didn't sleep more than about 3 hours last night in anticipation of today! It was my first day as the full time ASL teacher at Renton High. I was tossing and turning, trying not to think about how excited I was about starting this new adventure in my life. I started thinking of all the interviews I had gone on...all the people I had met...all the jobs I HADN'T gotten. It all made me kind of wonder what God had up his sleeve for me. What was it that I needed to learn by going through all the waiting and waiting for a job? Patience. Confidence. Trust. Faith. Hope. Timing. Dependence. Completely leaning on Him for my well-being. Sure, he used people in my life (thanks mom and dad!), but it was only by His Grace that those people were able to help me. Faithfulness. Unabashed perseverence. Telling doubters (which at times, included myself!) that God had a plan for my life and I wasn't about to stray from that.

Ok...gotta get on the road before traffic hits.

Stay tuned...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Day Sixty-Two...Permanency

So, beginning tomorrow, I'm in my ASL class full time. I'm conducting the final interviews with my students so I can get to know them as students, as well as their signing styles and levels. It'll be good.

I am a little nervous because they all love their current teacher. I am also a little nervous because there is so much more to teach than when I was in Idaho. And a LOT more expectations. I can't just fake it!

I've made a decision, though. I'm going to have as many Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing people come into my classroom as guest speakers as possible. Many of these students have never met a Deaf person before, so it will be their first experience. I want to give them as much exposure as possible.

But, as nervous as I am, I'm even MORE excited! I have a great job! I just got my benefit card in the mail. As soon as I get my transcripts into the HR office, I'll get more pay. The commute so early in the morning isn't so bad...an hour at most! And I used to commute to Seattle in that time when I worked downtown. So...

KTHNXBY

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Day Sixty-One...New Beginnings

I talked with Moob and we agreed that it's difficult to sit under pastors and worship leaders that are so hypocritcal and phony. So, today we tried a new church. It was a good church...they had an Interpreter...something I didn't know before! YAY! I have no idea if she was interpreting for someone, but it was nice to have. The worship was good...the message was good. The only drawback was that no one greeted us. Well, I can't say 'no one'. The pastor's wife came up to us as we were leaving. She didn't really introduce herself. She didn't ask us our names or if we were new. It was a smaller church, so she would know if someone new came in. But, at least she came up and spoke with us. The pastor disappeared after service, but...he was a good speaker. His message was about getting up in the morning and asking yourself and God who can I bless today? How can I make someone's day better. Overall, it was a good experience.

And, the difference between this time and the last time I left my childhood church is this time I didn't feel like I was betraying them. I felt like I was OK. I prayed about this last night for a long time. I felt peaceful about going. Now, all I have to do it tell my parents about it. ARGH!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Day Sixty...Contemplations

So, I put new "random thoughts" on my myspace profile. One of my 'thoughts' was that I was disillusioned by some people and it was making me rethink some of the relationships I have in my life. Now, because Moob is reading this, I'm going to take some time and say, "Moob, we're ok!"

With that, though, I'm really rethinking the relationship I have with two specific people in my life. They've been in my life...and I mean as an influence in my life...since I was about 6 or so. We've gone to the same church since that time. One person has always been a quiet, strong influence. He's always been close to me and my family. He has been articulate, fair, compassionate. The other...wow...she's been my spiritual mentor forever. She was the one who was there when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. She sang over me when I was young. I have wanted to emulate her. She's had dreams about me that God has given her for me and I've been changed by those things. However, recently, they've shown a very different side to their personalities. As I had said in a previous blog, some things happend around Christmas that really took me back. In explanation, I've had a VERY different view about how family is defined. Family is those who you choose to be with, who you choose to love and who you choose to hold dear to your heart. Family does not necessarily include blood relatives. In my life, rarely does it include blood relatives: mom, dad, brother, grandma and one cousin are probably about it...out of about 40 immediate relatives. However, I have one of the biggest, closest families I could ever want. It includes the people I'm living with...my best friend and her daughter and mom...another roommate...a friend in Tumwater...friends in Edmonds...new friends who live at my parents' house.

So, back to Christmas. I have spent Christmas with my "family" for the last 2 years, not really wanting to hang out with my relatives 'cuz they're all kooks...some more certifiable than others, if you catch my drift. So, Christmas was at my mom's house last year. My roomie, daughter, mom and daughter's father came were there, too. It was...to say the least...uncomfortable. So, this year, it was assumed that we come as a package deal...I knew I was going to spend Christmas with them...

brb

k...back for a moment...


So, where was I? Oh, right...Christmas. So, we were supposed to spend Christmas with a certain group of people who have been very open to having people outside the immediate family in their home, not leaving them out, wanting to show the love of Christ to as many as possible. Right. So, when my mom went up to this person, she let her know we'd have some "extras" with us, but we'd be there. The woman of the house said, "oh, ok. Well, bring such and such for everyone." A few minutes later, she came back to my mom and said, "Well, the reason I hesitated was because I'm not sure certain people will be comfortable having others around, but I'll talk to [insert husband's name here] and let you know."

Huh?

Ok, so we waited for further information...and waited...and waited. Christmas Eve came and we heard nothing, so, we went elsewhere...and had a BLAST!

So, we get a text from someone at the other party: "Why didn't you all come?" Uh...'cuz your mom uninvited me and my family from your house for Christmas Eve. I told her because we didn't hear back from anyone as to their acceptance or rejection of those who were with me. She said her mom sent an email.

Well...that wasn't true.

In fact, it was her dad that sent the email. Her dad actually sent a very condescending, holier-than-thou email to my mom stating that my "roomies" weren't welcome, but 'if you feel you need to bring extras' so be it. I won't go into details about the rest of it because it was just...so...mean, hateful, not Christ-like at all. It was hurtful to my mom, too. And, that, I think was the thing that bothered me the most.

UGH! I can't believe the nerve of this dude. To tell everyone that they're Christians, then to act like this...well, the Jesus I know hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors and heathens...Gentiles, even! That attitude...an excuding attitude...is the FARTHEST thing from Christ-like as one can get. Christ would have said, "bring 'em in! We'll have fun!"

Then, in a different vein, some other things have happened that I can't go into detail because they aren't common knowledge. I'm just...frustrated with people saying one thing and doing something completely contradictory. ARGH!

K...I'm going to go to bed now. G'nite.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Day Fifty-Nine...A Sick Day

So, today, I woke up with the slightest twinge of a migraine again. I took a pill and within about 30 minutes I was dizzy, nauseus and felt like staying home. Well, I didn't really want to succumb to another attach from the enemy, so I decided to go to work anyway and work through it. It was a late start and early dismissal...5 hours of work...so, I figured I could manage. Well, I got in my truck and drove just past Kirkland and had to pull over because my eyes wouldn't focus, I was hot and muggy, and didn't feel safe driving any more. So, I pulled over to the shoulder (thank GOD it was a wide shoulder), called my boss and let her know I wouldn't make it in today. And, just as I hung up, I felt like I was going to hurl. So, I did...on the side of the road. Nice. I sat there for about 10 more minutes before I felt well enough to drive home. I got home and went right to bed. Something completely knocked me out...either the migraine or the meds...or both...but I slept for another 4 hours. Fortunately, when I woke up, I felt a LOT better. Still a little dizzy...well, not dizzy, but you know how you feel when you're woken up but not yet finished sleeping? That's kinda what I feel like. Like I'm swimming under water...everything kinda in slow motion...but, not sick. Know what I mean?

And, I found out that someone had gotten into my Grandma bag...the Christmas present I got from my Grandma had food in it...caramel corn, pretzels dipped in chocolate, etc. The caramel corn and 1/2 the pretzels are gone...and I didn't eat them. I only ate the chex mix. Kinda ticked me off...but, then again, I do live with 4 other people who may have mistaken it for theirs...or just not checked that it was my name on the bag. No big deal...

K...gonna find something to eat...other than caramel corn and chocolate pretzels!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Day Fifty-Eight...Started Work

So, I was scheduled to start work yesterday, but I only had a half-day so they cancelled me. I took 1 sick day to make up the pay. T'was ok because I didn't sleep much the night before, so...

And, today, I subbed at an elementary school...4th and 5th grade...2 teachers...one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It was fun...but, I woke up this morning with a headache. I'm not sure what brought it on, but the enemy sure used it! I struggled and struggled with getting up and out of bed this morning. I ended up not showering because I wanted to sleep more to make the meds take effect and the headache to go away. I took 2 Excedrine Migraines at about 5:30 and slept for another 30 minutes. Took another one at 6:30 when I left. Ended up going in...felt "ok" until about 10:00 this morning when the regular headache turned into a full-blown migraine. If you've ever had them, you know they can be debilitating. This one nearly knocked me on my butt! Literally! During one of the "down" times I had, I went into the bathroom and tried to convince myself to throw up so I'd feel better...to no avail. I felt like I needed to, but I couldn't get myself to do it. No gag reflection (ty becca!).

So, I went into the nurse's office during lunch because it was the only dark, quiet room on the campus. I ate, then rested for about 20 minutes in her chair. I still didn't feel better...in fact, it was worse when I came out because the school is full of flourescent lights...yay! So, I went to my next class and turned all but 1 light off. The kids coulds till see and read just fine, but it was more ambient/incandescent light than the flourescent which was much easier on my eyes.

The kids left my class at 2:30 and the vice principal (bless her, many times!) said I could go. Normally, I'd stay 30 minutes past the time students are let out, but she knew I was sick and said I could go. So, I did. I got out. Drove to the gas station, took two more Excedrine Migraines with my hot chocolate (hoping the caffeine would do the trick). As soon as I got onto the freeway, my headache disappeared! Literally, 10 minutes after I left work, my headache was gone. And, I don't think it was because of the drugs. I think it was the enemy not wanting me to go into work today. I think he was trying to get me to fall back into my old habits of "it's too hard/painful/inconvenient...I think I'll go back to sleep." Well, with starting a new job, and a new year, and having a new outlook, I didn't succumb to that. I went and God sustained me. He is awesome!

K...thanks...bye!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Day Fifty-Seven...Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

I go to Renton to have my pre-employment conference today at 2pm. So, if you think of me around that time, please pray for my nerves. I'm so excited but I don't want them to see me jump out of my skin and scream like a school-girl!

I also need prayer that I'll be able to ask all the right questions about this job: when do I get my paycheck? When do my benefits begin? Where do I fall on the pay scale? When can I get the curriculum? What kind of budget do I have? All of that. I'll hopefully be able to meet the teacher and see my class tomorrow, but I have no idea.

And, as you can see, it's after 4am. I'm supposed to be up by about 9 to go check out some houses for us to move into to make room for some more roomies, but I can't sleep. I was up til 4 am last night celebrating and playing games with family. Then, had disrupted sleep from about 9 am until 3 pm when I finally got up. I slept in ,y comfy chair last night because my bed was overtaken by children! I just hope I can be alert enough by the time I get to my conference.

Ok...G'nite!