Day One-Hundred-Eight...Changes

Gray Cloak and I, along with some friends, cleared out 5 sofas and loveseats from the basement, a dining room table, 4 chairs, and 2 end tables. These are all going on CraigsList to be sold to make up some of the money I had to spend to move out of my house...and to pay for the bills we have. We're also going to sell my couch and chair, my dining room table and chairs, my old entertainment center, and some other things, too.

I've applied for some teaching jobs for the fall. One is at the place I did my internship for my undergrad studies. It's for a Deaf-Blind student. Basically, I would be her eyes and ears, facilitating communication and accessibility to her education. I think I know who it will be, so I'm making the (educated) assumption that this student is a "her".

I also have an interview with the school district 2 districts north of me for an ASL teaching position. That would be VERY cool. It's only a .6 FTE. FTE means Full Time Equivalent...so a full time teacher would be a 1.0 FTE. So, this position is only a .6 FTE, but with where I fall on the pay scale, I should be fine. If not, I can always supplement it with some tutoring or something.

I also had interviews yesterday with 2 families to be their nanny. One family was in a HUGE house south east of me...not too far away...about 15 miles one way. They'll pay about $35,000 a year with 1 week paid vacation, 5 sick days and holidays off. This family had 3 boys: one is going into 1st grade, 1 in Kindergarten, and 1 baby...well, one year old.

The second family lives in the same neighborhood in which I was born and lived for the first 6 years of my life. They have 2 twin girls that are 15 months old. They're learning ASL as their first language, which is REALLY cool! They LOVE playing outside and inside. They LOVE to read. This family only needs someone Mondays and Wednesdays, but it's do-able.

I also had an interview earlier in the week for a family just South of where I live. They have 2 boys: 4 and 1 year old. They're looking for someone quite structured. They're offering $20,000 a year, plus vacation and sick days. But, they're also able to possibly offer me a job share with his sister. She has a 4 year old and would be able to add to that.

So, we'll see what happens.

Going to cook dinner...buh-bye!

Day One-Hundred-Seven...The Beginning of Faith

Today I got a call from one of the staff pastors at my church. He had
been told that I wasn't working and was looking for some assistance. I
explained my situation, which include's Gray Cloak's being sick and not
working, Dilibririth's current physical limitations, Sulla's current
(un)employment situation and my own predicament. I explained that we
have just about enough money to pay for the current bills (through the
middle of July) but that we were tapped...and without food. So, he told
me he would be able to get our family some gift cards to the grocery
store.

So, I just got $50 toward groceries! Yay! God is good!

Off to buy food for the house!

Day One-Hundred-Six...40 Days of Faith

I came across this blog a few weeks ago. It's 40-Days of Faith. It was a journey of prayer and faith for the things that you want to see happen in your life. Because I came upon it late, I decided I would wait until the end to take part in the 40 days of faith.

So, here's the beginning of it. Each day, I'm going to paste the author's post and participate on my own.

So, here's the first one...

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Welcome to 40 Days of Faith!

We'll start the official countdown tomorrow. Today is a warm-up day, sort of like when all the runners gather for a pasta dinner the night before the Boston Marathon.

This is an apt comparison, actually--as I discovered the first time I tried asking God for something that mattered to me each day for 40 days, this is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be times you want to give up, days where you couldn't care less, and moments when you think this might be the stupidest thing you've ever tried. It comes with the territory--this is hard, this thing we're doing, putting our hearts out there before God and asking him to make our dreams a reality. But, as Dr. Phil always says, "You can't argue with results..." I've seen amazing results in the times I've set aside to see what God might have to say about my hopes and desires, and I'm only one story out of dozens and dozens. Hard is often worth it; here's hoping this is one of those times!

By way of preparation, here's the basic shape of what we'll be doing.

First: Let's each ask ourselves, "What do I want Jesus to do for me?" If you're not sure about Jesus, that's totally fair. I include him here because he says some pretty astounding things about answering our prayers and giving us a new life that exceeds our expectations...I like the idea of taking him up on this offer. But if this is a new idea, feel free to to preface the question with, "If Jesus really is who he says he is in the Bible, what would I want him to do for me?"A note on this asking: be specific. Ask for something tangible, where you'll know whether or not your prayer has been answered. (For example, I knew exactly when Jesus answered my prayers for a husband. My prayer for a happier attitude towards cleaning the bathroom, on the other hand, is a little tougher to pin down).

Second: Let's consider fasting from something for these 40 Days. I talk about this idea of fasting a bit in my book, and how the Bible suggests it goes hand-in-hand with prayer. During my first 40 Days, I fasted from coffee. In subsequent years I've fasted from reading (which made trips to the hairdresser long as I stared out the window while my highlights foiled...), baked goods, or television. The idea here is that when we're craving coffee or sweets, or passing up the latest issue of People at the salon, we can offer this up to God. I find myself saying, "Lord, I want a husband more than I want caffeine/pop culture updates/dessert right now." Somehow this connects me to my real desires, because I can't escape into the lesser things I use to comfort or distract me.

Important Note: if an eating disorder has ever been a struggle for you, PLEASE don't fast from food. Ask God what your fast should be; he has lots of good ideas!

Third: Teamwork. Each day, I'll post three things on this blog: An inspirational story or passage, some thoughts on why it inspires me, and a song that bolsters my hope when it's flagging. By the end of this time together, not only will we have amazing stories of answered prayer, we'll have a playlist to commemorate this time...what could be better?Your part in this teamwork facet is to check in via the comments. Post a comment every day, letting us know how you're doing. It can be a reaction to the day's writing, an update on something specific, or a funny anecdote that happened that day. If you're losing hope, let us know. If your prayer is answered, let us know. We're in this together!

Okay, that's all for today. I'll see you tomorrow for Day 1. Until then, remember: "What is impossible with man is possible with God." (Luke 18:27) That pretty much covers everything, right?

(This would be a great time, by the way, to click on the comments and say, "I'm in!" If you want to share what you're praying for, great. If not, feel free to keep it private. But let us know you're on the team :))

Bring on the linguini!

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Ok, so...

1) What do I want Jesus to do for me?

This has always been a hard one for me to answer. I want a LOT of things, but I don't want to be greedy, you know? It has always felt like "if you build it, they will come" and I always want to do what God wants me to do. But, in this 40-Days of Faith, I think I'm going to strip down my inhibitions and just "present my requests to God" and watch them come to pass!

So, what do I want? Here's my list (or at least what I can think of at 12:00 in the morning!):

~ I want to get married.
~ I want to have children.
~ I want to be financially secure.
~ I want to buy a house.
~ I want to be out of debt.
~ I want to have a better attitude about myself. That includes about making sure I clean up after myself, keeping my attitude toward my worth higher, keeping my head up and my sense of esteem in Christ first and foremost in my mind.
~ I want to be completely healed from past hurts.
~ I want to make my relationship with the Lord first and foremost in my life.
~ I want to read my Bible daily.
~ I want to pray daily.
~ I want to meditate and hear from God daily.
~ I want to learn to hear His voice.

2) What am I going to fast these next 40 days?

ARGH! I hate this question. I never know exactly what to give up. I could say coffee, but in reality, I don't drink that much. I could say soda, but again, I don't really drink that much. Those wouldn't be much of a sacrifice. I could say beef...I could say chicken...I could say candy...again, not things I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT! So, Lord, what do I fast? Cooking and cleaning? Hee hee! I guess I'm just going to have to pray about this and seek the Lord's direction.

Sigh...

3) Teamwork...well, while I will be looking over the comments on the original blog, I will also make my own comments. If I find something that is interesting, I'll link to it.

An aside about teamwork: when I first read that this was going to be a "team sport", I first thought, "Yay! I won't be in this alone!" However, after blogging this far, I've come to the conclusion that I DO need to do this alone. This is MY 40 days with God. This is MY time to grow closer to Him. This is MY alone time with Him. And that's OK. Jesus was closest to God when He was alone in the desert. Many times, Jesus separated Himself from the crowd to go pray to His Father.

So, starting tonight, I'm going to ask the Lord what He would have me fast. It will have to be something significant, and something I can't replace with something else...otherwise, there is no sacrifice, right?

Day One-Hundred-Five...Trying to Move On

Sigh...

Ok, so I MUST be a glutton for punishment. I accidentally went on Moob's blog (I hadn't removed it from my favorites and it's right below mine). I thought for sure I was over everything, but I'm not. She ABSOLUTELY blasted me and my family again. It's a very immature thing to do. She called me a selfish hag. She called my mom mentally ill (because of greed and the need to control her children) and insinuated that when my mom used the downstairs bathroom, it smelled like "unwashed fat-a$$". She called my dad weak for not standing up to my mother and preventing her from ruining her children. She said she had pictures of my unclean bathroom that she was going to plaster all over her blog, MySpace and ALL the dating sites I've ever gone to before or could possibly go to in the future. She said that my life would end up like it's always been: lonely, wasted, broke. And while I've always feared I'd not married and having no children, I'm never lonely. Even if I was the last person on earth, I'll NEVER be alone. My God and Savior is always with me. My friends (true friends) and family (real family) are always here with me. I'll never be broke because life isn't about money. And my life is never wasted as long as I'm doing God's will...and that's something she'll never understand. She had the chance to understand that, but she walked away from it.

And, you know, the really sad thing is that Moob had the opportunity to really get to know me and my family. She had the opportunity to become an integral member. She was my sister. My dad was her dad. My brother took Millyra out for a "date" because Millyra's dad was out of town for work for several months. At one time, Moob really liked my brother..."like"-liked! Ya...I was trying to get them together. But, Moob kept putting me off. She doesn't believe she deserves happiness. It's really sad...she DOES deserve happiness...she just won't allow herself to have joy.

I guess I've done everything I can do...someday we both will have to stand before God and give account for our actions. All I can do is make sure MY actions are above board.

Sigh...

God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, the wisdom to know the difference.

Day One-Hundred-Four...Interview

I had an interview last night at about 7:00 pm. I was for a caregiving position for a soman about 1/4 miles away from where I live. I can walk to work! So, here's the stats:

~ Employer's name (well, not her real name): Francesca Romani

~ Location: 1/4 miles away

~ Pay: $10 an hour (all private pay!)

~ Time: 40+ hours a week

~ Job duties:

LOTS of transferring - from bed to wheelchair, from wheelchair to restroom, from restroom to chair, chair to car, car to pool, pool back to chair, chair back to car, car to wheelchair, wheelchair back to chair in the house...you get the point.

Shopping: I take Francesca to Costco for groceries

Transportation: We'll be going EVERYWHERE! Francesca has several rental properties in the area as we have to check up on those, we go to the pool, we go shopping...

Overall, I think it's going to be a good, rewarding job. It felt like a shoo-in, but I'd HATE to get my hopes up and then be disappointed. So, I'm going to continue looking for jobs until I hear for sure. If I DO get this job, I'll start the beginning of August, which isn't too far away. Only 15 days.

I've got a few emails out for nanny positions, too...

We'll see what happens...

Day One-Hundred-Three...Changes

So, since I last blogged, there have been some significant changes in my life.

On the home front, that's changed! I'm now living back at home with my parents and my brother. We now have 4 people and 3 dogs in one house. It's pretty crowded, but it's good! There's a LOT more peace in my heart and my life right now that I've felt in a LONG time. Long story, short, Moob flipped out on me. I was out of town for a conference and, via text messaging, within a matter of 45 minutes, she went from, "Oh, sure, Cheyenne (my pooch) can stay overnight and Sulla can get her in the morning" and "have fun at your conference" to "I see the murmuring has continued" and "you're just a @#$!-ing %*&@" and "maybe me and mine need to find another place to live". I still have no idea what set her off...except for an arguement she had with Sulla about picking up some tools left out in the front yard after being used in the remodel. So, June 29th, I went to my conference, June 30th I had to come home, July 1st, I packed up most of my belongings and by July 2nd I was out of the house. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with Moob. She refused to turn over my cable, phone and internet belongings from the cable company. Supposedly a technician is coming over on Wednesday to that house and will collect the equipment, but I have NO idea what condition it will be in. Hopefully, she'll have SOME integrity and NOT damage the equipment, or else I'll have to end up paying over $500 to replace them. We'll see...

On the school front, that's changed, too. Because of all of this "boloney" at my house, I fell behind in my studies by a week. Now, normally this wouldn't be too much. I have my masters degree and THAT was an intense program. This is just an undergraduate degree in English, one of my favorite subjects. However...it is a literature class that has INTENSIVE reading...and DRY material. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. That was a HARD book to wrap my head around. Anyway, these professors gave assignments in the VERY beginning. I was already late with one assignment because I had to move. There was NO way I could catch up and finish well. So, I emailed my advisor and filled her in on the details of my life. She told me that I would withdraw from classes and, because I was enrolled past the first 10 days of class, I would still be admitted to the program when I return in the fall. So, upon much prayer and petition, I decided to drop summer quarter and will return in the fall. I will continue with my classes and actually finish in the summer of 2009.

On the job front...well, that's different, too. I started a job as a nanny the end of June. But, I was let go on last Friday because they found someone to do it for free. I was sad, but I completely understood. They were paying me $200 a week. They could afford it, but if they found someone to watch Iris Burrows for free, you can't blame them. That's $200 they can use for something else. It's ok...I have an interview on Wednesday evening at 7:00 pm for a caregiver position about 1/4 mile from my house. It's for a woman with MS, 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, and all "private pay". It requires a lot of transfers, but I shouldn't have a problem doing that. I have training in Special Education and part of that was how to perform transfers to and from wheel-chairs. So, I'm excited about it. If you think about it, please pray for me on Wednesday evening at 7:00 pm.

On the construction front...well, the rooms were move-in ready, but not all of the details were completed. We got the big room nearly finished. The only thing we had left to do was put the trim on the walls and the threshhold where the carpet seams come together. We also didn't get to finish the detail painting. We didn't finish trim out the corners because we ran out of time (read that: Moob got her panties in a bunch and wigged out and was pushing for us to get things "functional"...her words, not mine). In the smaller room, Sulla went ALL OUT. Mungo Hamwich is a HUGE Seahawks fan. He plays junior football, even. So, Sulla decided to do a Seahawks theme: Seahawks blue paint on the trim, green paint on the outlet covers, a jersy-style door in which Mungo's name was at the top and the number 12 (signifying the 12th man on the team...it's a Seattle thing!) in the middle of the door. It looked AWESOME! However, after the blowup with Moob, she blogged a rant stating that because Sulla f@$%ed her drawings, Mungo HATED his room. We found out later, from Mungo himself, that he really liked the room.

Ok, I'm not going to spend a LOT of time responding to Moob's rant on her blog because it's really not worth my time and energy. I will say this: I do feel bad for Moob. She has become so bitter with her own life and with the person she has allowed herself to become, that the only way she can feel less miserable is to project the things she hates about herself onto other people, then blast them. And, while I do believe that when she gave her life to Christ, it was real. However, at some time, she allowed herself to be influenced by the lure of her past life. She began going down south and hanging out with her old friends, drinking, dancing and partying. She even decided to spend Mother's day down south instead of here...with her mother...and her daughter. Millyra preferred to spend Mother's day up here, with me, going to church, than with her mother.

Ok, I said I wouldn't spend a LOT of time responding, so, that's it. That's the last I'm going to say about the whole situation. If anyone wants to know the truth, they can email me and I'd be glad to answer any questions. But, I'm not going to blast anyone in this blog. That's not what it's for.

In other news, Sulla and I are considering buying a house together. We do well living together and, when we're both making full time incomes, we can really afford it. We have developed a knack and love for home improvement. Right now, we're getting ready to paint mom and dad's house, renovate the yard and clean up the inside of the house. If we buy a fixer-upper (not too much of a fixer), we can fix it up and rent it out if/when we decide to go our separate ways, keeping it as an asset. That would be VERY cool!

Well, I think that's pretty much all I have to say right now. I'm getting tired and I need to get up and start cleaning. The kitchen is a MESS right now! It'll get done by the end of the week, though.

G'nite!