Day Twelve...Financial Peace

Today, Moob and I began a class through our church called Financial Peace University. It's all about finances...how to manage them, how to save, how to spend, how to become financiall stable....something we BOTH need, especially since Sherlock is being a jerk! It was quite an eye-opening evening...analyzing why I needed to get my finances under control. I spend money. I spend more money than I make. I spend money I shouldn't spend. I spend money I don't really have. All in an effort to cover up something. I'm not entirely sure what, but I'm sure it'll come to me! I know some of it comes from not having much growing up, but we always had what we needed...food, clothes, shoes, school supplies. Granted, sometimes we ate a pot of beans for a week, the clothes we had were home-made or hand-me-downs, the school supplies were always generic brand, but they did the job and we were just fine. I guess it's just some psycho-logical hangup I have about having stuff. I think it also might stem from watching my cousin/best friend always buying things because she had money. I wanted that freedom in my life so I bought stuff, too. Even if I really didn't have the money, I still bought stuff. For example...I was shopping with my girlfriend this summer. I found a really cute purse...it was priced at $20. It was a very nice purse and for $20, not a bad deal. Well, when I got up to the counter, the gal told me it was only $2.50 because it was on clearance. Well, rather than accepting the 1 purse I really wanted for $2.50, I went back and got 3 more different purses for the $20 I was originally going to spend. Now, I really liked all the other purses, but I don't need 4 new purses in addition to the ones I already have but never use. It's things like that that I don't understand. I...it just...it's like it's a compulsion that I can't control. Like tourette syndrome of the wallet...I go along just fine and then, BLAM-O, my money's flying out of my hands and into the cash register. It's stupid! So, hopefully I'll learn something of value over the next 13 weeks and can begin to dig myself out of financial ruin...which is something I DESPERATELY need to do...especially if I plan on getting married, or fostering children, or buying a house (which I'd LOVE to buy this one with Moob...it'd be AWESOME!). Anyway, I'm very excited about this class.

So, as you all know, I've been struggling with my job and health for a few months. Well, another girlfriend from college sent me some encouragement. She has had health struggles, too, and knows what I'm experiencing. She told me her motto is "There's Always a Choice". No matter what situation I find myself in, I always have a choice. If I'm not happy in my job, I can always get another one. If I'm not happy in my life, I can do something about it. If I'm not healthy, I can change what I'm eating/doing/thinking. I always have a choice. I'm not STUCK anywhere. I can either choose to stay or choose to move. So, since then, I've been thinking about changing jobs. I enjoy what I'm doing, but I'm not happy there. I hate the late shift (2:15 to 11:00pm), I can't be involved with my church during the weekdays because of my shift, I can't be involved with the women's group because of my shift. I can't even volunteers to teach the girls group on Wednesday nights because of my shift. I've also been having a very hard time hearing lately...yes, more than usual! Like I said earlier, I think some of my headaches come from not being able to hear/understand so much on the phone. I asked my team manager if I could try another headset on Friday. He loaned me his set and it was an improvement because I had 2 ear phones, but it was still hard. I'm going to try another set tomorrow and see what happens. But, in the meantime, I'm still going to be looking around, putting my feelers out there, for another job, not so phone-oriented. It's just becoming too hard for me. I love helping people, but I might do better online or in person than on the phones. If only my insurance would cover hearing aids...that would solve a LOT of problems, I'm sure!

So, if you think of it, pray for peace, pray for joy, pray for a good job, pray for patience, pray for direction, pray for wisdom, pray for understanding. I need them all!