Day Twenty-Eight...Captivating

John and Stasi Eldredge have written a book called "Captivating". It's all about a woman's heart. I'm in counseling for some relationship issues and we're heading toward some of the inward issues I have (enter at your own risk!). Anyway, my counselors gave it to me to read. The Eldredges are Christian authors. He wrote a book called "Wild at Heart"...all about a man's heart...why men do what they do. Why little boys, even though parents try to teach them not to be aggressive and play with weapons, chew their graham crackers into guns. It's because they were programmed to be warriors...to fight...to protect...to be the hero. My dad is reading it...he said it is a great book.

So, what about a woman's heart? Well, women today have been taught to hide their femininity...to feel ashamed that they want to be rescued...needed...loved...cared for...part of the adventure and great romance for which they were intended (thank you Gloria Steinem!). God, when he created the world, the universe, the animals and, lastly, man, the world was perfect. Adam walked with God, talked with God, lived in a perfect garden. But...God said...something's missing...it's not good for man to be alone. So, he created woman. If you look back through the creation story, you see that each time God created something, it was more intricate and more splended than the thing before. Light and dark...water and land...animal and man...and finally, woman. Woman is the crown of creation. We were not an afterthought! God didn't say, "Wow...I really forgot something...hmmm...let's see...well, I could...no....how about...hmmm...I have no idea what to do...let me make a girl and see what happens." He purposefully created woman as the crown...the cherry on the ice cream sundae. A sundae isn't a sundae without a cherry. Man isn't man without woman. And, inversely, woman isn't woman without man. We were created for each other.

Now, I'm not saying that woman is incapable of caring for her self and "needs a man to be whole". In fact, I'm saying the opposite. Women are quite capable of caring for themselves, their families, their church and anything else life throws at them...just look at Moob! She's amazing! She's been through so much...all without the support of a man. In fact, some of the things she's been through have been CAUSED by men. Yet, she is still the most amazing woman I know because she hasn't let what's happened to her define her. But, what I am saying is that women today have been made to feel guilty for longing for male companionship, for relationships, for intimacy, for being protected, for being fought for, for being courted and wooed...something for which we were CREATED! It would be like (and pardon the crude comparison) my dog, who LOVES to run because she's a herding dog, being yelled at and made to feel shame for wanting to run and play ball. Women were created, not as the weaker sex, but as the Image Bearer of the intimate God...the relational heart of God...the desire God has for us to pursue Him.

So, what does this have to do with me? Well, for YEARS, I've strugged with being the Image Bearer of God. I've felt unworthy...unloved...unaccepted...waiting for the other shoe to drop on my relationships...my dreams. And, I've felt very much like Eve...God must be holding out on me. He has promised me X, Y, and Z, but I'm still not seeing ANY of those come to fruition. Many a night, I have laid in bed and cried myself to sleep because I'm so lonely and none of my dreams and aspirations have come to pass. But, this book is teaching me that I've done that to myself. Because we live in a fallen world, I have the bent toward doubting God's intentions with me. Even as a Christian, knowing His Word, having experienced some of his miracles, I still doubt He REALLY cares about me. I've taken it upon myself to try and "make things happen" instead of letting Him bring those things He's promised to me. I've gotten in God's way. Is that all my fault? No. The enemy has a special hatred for me...as a woman...and he's also getting in God's way. Lucifer was a beautiful angel. His pride got him in trouble and cast out of heaven. Since woman is the crown-jewel of creation, God's most prized creation...the most beautiful...and the Image-Bearer of the Beauty of God, since her creation, there has been a special hatred in the enemy for woman. And we, in today's society, have succumed to believing the lies the enemy has planted in our minds since the beginning of creation (thank you, again, Gloria Steinem). God has been teaching me that if I trust Him whole-heartedly, His plans and promises will come to fruition. I am reminded of a song by The Kry called Take My Hand.

I know there are times
Your dreams turn to dust
You wonder as you cry
Why it has to hurt so much
Give me all your sadness
Someday you will know the reason why
With a childlike heart
Simply put your hope in me

Take my hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on me alone
Don’t you say “why were the old days better?”
Just because you're scared of the unknown

Take my hand and walk...

Don’t live in the past
'Cuz yesterday is gone
Wishing memories would last
You’re afraid to carry on

But you don't know what's comin', no
But you know the one who holds tomorrow
I will be your guide, take you through night
If you keep your eyes on me

Take my hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on me alone
Don’t you say “why were the old days better?”
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take my hand and walk where I lead
You will never be alone
Faith is to be sure of what you hope for
And the evidence of things unseen
Take my hand and walk

Just like a child holding daddy's hand
Don’t let go of mine, you know you can stand on your own

Take my hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on me alone
Don’t you say “why were the old days better?”
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take my hand and walk where I lead
You will never be alone
Faith is to be sure of what you hope for
And the evidence of things not seen
Take my hand and walk

Take my hand and walk

Take my hand and walk

What an amazing picture of God's plan for us...wow! Now, I've only finished chapter 6 of 12, so, I'm sure there's more tidbits of amazing-ness to come!