So, here it is, just after midnight. I'm sitting in bed reading an amazing book when I get a knock on my bedroom door. It's Millyra, Queen of the Glittering Caves. She is famous for staying up late even though Moob has told her to go to be 2 1/2 hours ago! I tell her to come in and she bursts into tears. Today is Sunday. She spent time with her father. He took her to dinner and a movie...which is normal. He usually comes after church and stays until about 7 or so. Every time, Millyra struggles with saying good-bye. Ever time, she cries. Every time, she gets into a funk because she is starting to realize that even if he "says" he'll see her soon, that doesn't always happen. Take Christmas, for example. Their tradition, as father and daughter, is stay up late, until midnight, on Christmas eve, then open gifts from each other. He told her that was going to happen again this year. She was SO excited! She had been saving her money to actually pick out the gifts she got everyone. Impressive for being just shy of 11 years old. Anyway, he called a few days before and said his plans had changed and he'd come on the 23rd (Sunday), spend the night, and leave no later than 4 on the 24th...their traditional Christmas eve. Millyra was devastated. Fortunately, Moob (and the rest of us) were able to smooth things over with her, promising to have the BEST Christmas eve at GG's and Christmas day at our house. She was good. So, he finally gets here, takes her shopping for her gifts (which is better than trying to pick them out himself...he doesn't know her very well) and came home. Then, he lost his keys. He thought maybe at the store, but couldn't find them anywhere. So, because it was dark, he waited until the morning to worry about it. However, in the morning, he took off...without Millyra...on her Christmas with him...and went to the car shop to see about getting a key made. When they told him it would be $130, he came back and spent nearly all day taking apart his steering column so he could be sure to start the car with a screwdriver so he could leave. When he was asked what was so important that he would do that to his daughter, he said he was going to a party with his cousins and that took priority. Millyra was so bored that day, she ended up going with Dilibrirth to her house to drop off some ingredients to Sulla (my bro and the bestest uncle in the world to Millyra). Millyra preferred to hang with Grandma and Uncle to watching her father tear apart a car. Understandable? Yes. Shameful on his part? Abdolutely! Should she have had to choose? Heck, no, techno. She's 10 for crap's sake. She doesn't understand that he views her as an accessory. He doesn't know how to parent her. He comes up out of duty, not because he can't live without seeing her. And what's more (and this is strictly my observation and interpretation), he comes up to make sure Moob doesn't think she's "won". Really, she has "won" because Millyra knows that Moob is her safety and stability and Millyra is starting to figure out that her father is not. And soon...
I guess, for me, the hardest part is to see someone that you love so much, and think of as one of your own, suffering through being treated as less than the Beauty and Cherished child she is. I couldn't live without seeing my children. I would do anything and everything in my power to make sure I had a relationship with them. I couldn't view them as a duty...it's absolutely absurd. Millyra is so cherished...and I'm going to make sure she doesn't doubt that for one fraction of a second. She is going to grow up with the most confidence. Not cockiness, but inner strength and assurance that, first, she is a child of God...a princess...and second, that she has so many people that care for her and would do anything to show she was loved, she'll never lack for it.
I promise!
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