Life...Sucks...Ducks

So, since my last post, I've discovered that I am just not quite cut out for this life. I am very overwhelmed. I just don't quite know what to do. Here's a few things that have been going on.

1) I fell at work. I work graveyard shifts. That means, I work by myself. About a month ago, the toilet at my client's apartment was overflowing. The maintenance man came by, removed the toilet, figured out what was wrong, and repositioned the toilet. Well...he didn't put it back on correctly. Naturally. How does this connect with me falling at work? Wait for it...ok, so the night after the toilet was fixed, I went in to use the bathroom and fell in a puddle of water. I fell on my butt, hit my head on the open door, and my right arm on the vanity. I had no idea where the water came from. So, even after falling and being in pain from the fall, I cleaned up the water. I had to. I don't work with anyone else. It's just me. I'm all by myself...get the picture? Well, after I was finished, I still had to go to the bathroom. I did, flushed, and water came spurting out of the base of the toilet. Nice. Again, I had to clean it up, on my hands and knees...all the while, I was in pain, fighting a headache, backache and sore arm. Called my boss, told her what happened. Called the doctor, he told me I couldn't go back to work the following night. So, I've been off work since February 21.

2) Last Sunday, I was coming home from running errands and I caused an accident. It wasn't very bad, but it put me back to where I was when I fell. So, I couldn't go back to work (not really that sad), but I'm back in pain again.

3) Grey Cloak is still ill. He hasn't worked for over a year. He's been sick since June. I'm not expecting him to go back to work. I don't even want him to go back to the field. It would be GREAT if he could get something at the Union Hall, teaching new apprentices all his tricks. THAT would be awesome! Dilibirith is not able to work. She's been unable to work for years. I don't expect her to go to work either. If she can, we're going to get her set up on eBay or CraigsList and sell some of her cards. She's VERY good and could probably make some good money.

Sulla...now that's another story. I'm so fed up with him...I could just SPIT! I'm not sure if I'm fed up with HIM or the situation. It's hard to tell. He's been out of work since last year, too. Part of it has been because he was fired and hasn't been able to get a new job. Part of it, he claims, is his medical issues. Ok, but I have medical issues. Here...let's look at them.

He has depression.
He has anxiety.
He has sleep apnea.
He's severely obese.
He has migraines.
He has regular headaches.

I have depression.
I don't have anxiety.
I have sleep apnea.
I'm severely obese.
I have migraines.
I have regular headaches.

But, I do I have arthritis in my back.
I also have Fibromyalgia.
I also have TMJ/TMD.
I also have a fallen arch in my right foot that makes it VERY difficult (not to mention, painful) to walk.

Now, he doesn't do anything around the house if he doesn't want to because he has "off days". But, I'm expected to work, cook, clean (ok, I don't do much cleaning), laundry, create the menus, go GET the food, bring it home, pack it, freeze it, put it away, organize the pantry, make the juice, take care of Dilibirith...getting the picture?

So, I do a LOT around here. And, he doesn't. Now, I completely understand not being ABLE to do much. But, it seems like he is ABLE to do what he WANTS to do. Case in point: yesterday, a friend called asking for Sulla to work on his truck so he can move to Oregon. Well, naturally, that's something that Sulla is interested in, so naturally, he said yes. In fact, when I asked Sulla last night, after being out all day long, if he would be willing and able to cook dinner, he let out a great big sigh, told me he was willing, but unable because "he had a headache and (the friend) was coming over to have him work on his truck".

WHAT?

He couldn't make dinner because he was going to help his friend after sleeping all day?

What the Pho?

Here, I have been busting my A$$ off, working at work and around the house. He gets to sleep all day, sluff off any responsibility, and do absolutely NOTHING because he's "sick" and "having a bad day" and "going through a slump" and "has a headache", but can work through a headache to take a look at a truck?

I DON'T THINK SO!

So, today...he gets up early (another peeve of mine...he sleeps all day, and stays up all night, works on his server, then is absolutely useless during the next day) to meet this friend. Starts working right away. Seems to be having a good time (naturally, because he's doing something he likes). He takes off with the only working vehicle without checking with me (or anyone, for that matter) about anyone elses plans for the day. I had to call him at 11:00 and remind him I had to leave in 20 minutes to be in Seattle by noon for a doctor's appointment. Luckily, he came home in time and I made it.

So, I leave, go to my doctor's appointment, and get a text message. "I threw my back out. When are you coming home?"

WHAT?

OMG...WHEN WILL THIS $HIT END?!?!

He wanted me to stop what I'm doing and come home. He wanted me to drop everything to rush home to take care of him. I was going to Seattle, then to Tacoma for some baby clothes/items (that's for another posting!). I told him I would come home after I was done. I didn't make it home until 6:30. Then...when I DID get home, I had to take the friend up to Everett. I left here at 11:30 and didn't come home for the night until 8:15. And, Grey Cloak, who is sick (with a cold), was made to cook dinner because Sulla was laying down. Now, I understand he threw his back out. I TOTALLY understand that one! But...it's just another thing...another excuse not to do anything.

IT'S MAKING ME SO ANGRY!

And, I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to talk to him, think about him...even look at him. It just makes me so angry! I wish I could sleep all day, watch TV, work on things I want to work on, not make dinner but still eat well.

SHEESH...

Ok, my pooch needs me, so I'm going to bed.

G'nite.