Day Nine...Exhaustion

It's nearly midnight and I should be in bed, but I thought I'd check a few things first. First, I checked to see if my info was corrected on the district website for which I sub. No. And, I can't change it even though there are options. It's so stupid...Anyway,

Then, I checked the available jobs for another district for which I sub. Only a short term sub assignment in either French or Spanish. Now, I know just enough of both languages to get me into trouble and could prolly teach the students a thing or two, but I'm sure what I know isn't in the curriculum. Still, I emailed the sub coordinator stating that, even with my little experience with either language, I was still very much available and willing to take the job should she need. We'll see...

All day yesterday was a cleaning day. I'm having the women from my church over on Tuesday night for our monthly ministry night. It should be fun! Only a few women have been here since we moved in...my grandmother, my mom's friend Barb and Rebecca when she dropped off Millyra from a sleepover. It'll be nice to entertain for the evening. And, it'll be nice for my aunt to see some of her things in my house! She sold me her coffee table, gave me some lamps for my birthday a few years ago, and probably made the wreath I bought last year at the boutique that sits above my fireplace! Anyway, it'll be nice to show people that I'm not just a slacker and I do have a nice home...not that I think anyone thinks that, but people tend not to get to know me outside our normal circle (why not, I have no idea), so this will be a chance to "be a grown up" for a change. I'm really looking forward to it.

Today we had church at the park. It was very fun! It was a little chilly, but still good. It was nice to have a change of scenery. Our church is beautiful...our sanctuary is gorgeous...but sometimes it's nice to worship God in HIS creation. 'Twas very nice. And, I felt like I heard from God during worship, too. Not much I can talk about right now because the situation I'm in isn't common knowledge, but He has reassured me that I'm doing well in it and He is working in the situation to bring everything together.

Ok...now I'm just falling asleep at the keyboard. My fingers are working faster than my brain can think. ARGH. I'm going to bed.

Actually, before I do, I want to write the lyrics to two new songs that have really hit me upside the head. The first is Mercy Me's "Jesus Bring the Rain". It's a song about wanting all the good things in life, knowing that God has intended us to have those good things, but also knowing that His ways are holy and just and perfect. He sometimes sends rain into our lives to cause our fruit to flourish ...He sometimes allows storms to come into our lives to cause our roots to reach down deep into the ground. Surrending ourselves to His will changes our point of view and we will welcome those rainstorms.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my painY
ou who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

The next song that's really hit me upside the head is Casting Crowns' "East to West". Many of us have heard the scripture that tells us that when Jesus was crucified on the cross, God took our sin and cast it as far as the east is to the west. It was a picture of the distance God puts between us and the sin that has been put under the Blood of the Lamb. Well, often I think, "wow...my sin is really close to me because I can see it. I'm sure God can see it. I KNOW others can see it. So, how far away is the east from the west?" Well, this song answers that question.

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight

I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

WOW! The first time I read those lyrics, I couldn't believe the picture I got of Jesus standing in front of me saying, "Wanna know how much I love you? I love you this much" stretching out his nail-scarred hands to each side and giving me a big hug...WOW!

G'nite.