Too Funny!

Day Ninety-Five...An Interview

I've been trying to get on as a teacher a certain school district since I graduated in 2005. I even got my my masters degree in order to teach in the DHH program there. Well, that possibility is finally here. I have an interview with them for an ASL position on Thursday, June 5th at 9 am.

I REALLY want this job! But, as I've always said, I want what God wants more. So, if it's His will for me is to have it, GREAT! If not, yes, I'll be sad, but, I'll be content because I know He has something greater for me.

Sigh...

I still want it VERY, VERY VVVVVVEEEEERRRRYYYY much!

The Definition of Atheism:

The belief that there was

nothing

and

nothing

happened to

nothing

and then

nothing

magically exploded

for no reason,

creating

everything

and then a bunch of

everything

magically rearranged itself,

for no reason whatsoever,

into self-replicating bits which then turned into

dinosaurs.

Makes     PERFECT     sense.

Day Ninety-Five...Back to Work Tomorrow

So, here's the update on my job situation. I had my meeting with HR and my union rep last Monday. The principal didn't want me back. That stung. But, I did hear from my department head that he never wanted an ASL program at the high school in the first place. Figures. But, the district wanted to honor the contract we had, so the HR woman said I would be working with a current district teacher in a self-contained special education classroom. That way, I would still get my salary (just a little less than my normal salary because of all the unpaid time off) through the end of August and benefits through the end of September. Well, I was SUPPOSED to hear from her last week Tuesday afternoon. She was SUPPOSED to find a job for me for last week Wednesday. She didn't. I had to cancel substitute jobs for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday because she told me I would go back to work on Wednesday. I didn't.

I heard from her today. I'm going to a middle school in north Renton. Which is OK with me. I won't get off as early as I did at the high school, but not as late as the elementary schools. So, I start tomorrow at 10am. I meet with the principal at the school at 10am. Then, I imagine I start working that day. Maybe, I'll just meet the principal and the teacher, get to see the kids and then start working on Thursday. That'd be cool.

On the home front, I've been sleeping with my mask now for about a week and I can definitely tell a difference. I have WAY the heck more energy than I've EVER had. In fact, I got up the other day and worked for about 3 hours with Grey Cloak in the new bedrooms, taping and mudding. I've NEVER done that before. I give out after about 30 minutes because I'm JUST exhausted. It's been hard to just get up and go to work every day. Now, I'm actually excited to go back to work and see how much more I can accomplish with the new energy.

Speaking of the new bedrooms, we're almost done. The walls are up. The floor is down. The windows are in. Nearly all the seams have been taped and mudded. Moob and I are planning to finish up the taping and mudding this week so we can sand and texture this weekend. Then, once the texturing is done and dried (about 2-3 days), we can paint. Once that is dried, we can lay the carpet and move Olorin downstairs. Then, we can paint the upstairs room that Olorin was in so Moob can move in there. Then, we can paint Moob's old room so the new roomie can move in.

Hmmm...I have to give her and her son names.

Brb...

Orangeblossom Bulge of Great Smials (new roomie)

and

Mungo Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern (new roomie's son)

Fitting...for both of them! Hee hee!

Ok, so once Orangeblossom and Mungo move in, we'll have 4 adults, 2 kids, 1 kid-to-be, 3 dogs, 2 cats and 2 turtles. Whew! That's a houseful! But, it'll be SO much fun!

More Fun Stuff

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(father & mother's middle name)

Michael Joyce

2. NASCAR NAME:
(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)

Melvin Willard

3. STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)

WheJe

4. DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color, favorite animal)

Purple Jaguar

5. SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, county where you were born)

Michelle Seattle

6. SUPERHERO NAME:
(2nd favorite color, favorite drink, add 'THE' to the beginning)

The Blue Macchiatto

7. FLY NAME:
(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 3 letters of your last name)

JeWhe

8. GANGSTA NAME:
(favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)

Reeses Chocolate Chip

9. ROCK STAR NAME:
(current pet's name, current street name)

Cheyenne Washington

10. STRIPPER NAME:
(name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy)

Velocity Riesen

What We Gonna Do Tonight, Brain?

This one's for DAN!

Day Ninety-Four...The Result

Ok, so I didn't sleep very well last night. I kept waking up with my mask vibrating against my face. I had to adjust it several times during the night, so, I didn't wake up feeling all that rested. I did notice a few differences, though:

1) When I did sleep, I slept well. I remember having a couple dreams, too. That usually doesn't happen!

2) When I got up at 5:30 to pee, I wasn't just exhausted, even after only 6 hours of sleep. If I had wanted to, I could have stayed up and had a very full day.

3) When I got in the shower, I didn't want to go back to sleep. Usually, once the water hits me, I have to force myself to stay moving so I stay awake.

4) Although I was tired today from shopping and being on my feet too long, I didn't have that exhaustion I usually feel. Yes, I'm tired, but it's midnight...I SHOULD be tired!

So far, that's it. So, although it's no magic pill, I really believe that after I get the kinks worked out, once I'm accustomed to wearing the mask and sleeping in new positions to not make the mask fart, it will really help.

Luuuuuuuuuke...

Today, I got my CPAP machine. For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea. That means that I stop breathing for 10 seconds or more several times a night. Now, everyone hold your breath for 10 seconds. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10. And breathe. Ok, not so bad. You could probably go longer. And be just fine. But suppose I woke you up several times during the night to do that. Say, over 200 times to be exact. You'd never get any sleep. Well, that's what happens to be. I don't necessarily fully wake up to hold my breath, but my sleep is disturbed over 200 times...and that was just in the 6 hour test period. In a normal 8 hour period of sleep, I don't breathe for a minimum of 50 minutes. Basically, I fall asleep, hod my breath, wake up enough to breathe, fall back to sleep, wait 45 seconds, hold my breath again, wake up to breathe, fall back to sleep and do it all over again...200 times. I'm sorry I keep emphasizing that but, WOW, that's a LOT of times. It's no wonder I'm exhausted all the time!

So, fast forward to today. I got my breathing machine. In fact, I'm lying here in bed with a mask on my face that totally makes me feel like Darth Vader! Lol! It's kinda weird, but at the same time, I have mentally prepared myself to sleep with it. And, really, the only problem I foresee is learning not to roll over without adjusting my hose. Well, that and making out in bed, but we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it. That's not an IMMEDIATE concern! Hee hee!

So, tonight is the first night I'll have this mask. If I'm like most people, I'll feel better right away. Not 100% better, but improved. If I'm like my dad, it'll take a while to notice a difference. This is the one thing I HOPE and PRAY he DIDN'T pass on to me. We'll see how I feel in the morning.

Day Ninety-Four...Still Employed (Kinda)

Well, I met with the HR woman, the Employee Relations woman and my union rep (who is JUST AMAZING! She's awesome!) today about my job. Just a snapshot, I was off for Spring Break the 1st week of April, then I got sick the 2nd, 3rd and 4th week of April. I had BAD bronchitis, on the verge of pneumonia. I was literally on bedrest for 3 weeks. My doctor finally released me back to work on April 28th. Well, I got notice that I was put on administrative leave, pending their findings on a few "issues" they had with me and my classroom management. For more info on those things, keep reading my other posts. Anyway, i met with the HR woman, the Employee Relations woman, my union rep and the principal and they threw some things at me, let me "respond"...my responses were very orchestrated...like in court when the lawyer asks a question that is a yes/no question, but the witness/defendant attempts to explain themselves and the lawyer cuts them off or questions them in such a way as to make them look bad. That's what it felt like anyway.

Fast forward to today. I met with those above...except the principal. But the principal didn't want me back at the high school. He, through the Employee Relations woman, said that there was not enough time between now and the end of the year to fix the issues. He said that there were many students, specifically my seniors, who were still very concerned about graduating because they didn't get any feedback and/or grades. He said that he found my files with their graded and returned papers, but that there were several papers with "good job" but no feed back or grades. Well, duh! Those are the papers that if you did them, you got credit and if you didn't you didn't. It wasn't a graded assignment.

He also didn't think that there was enough time to train me to improve my classroom management skills for secondary classrooms. (uh, sir,...it's the STUDENTS! NOT THE TEACHER!)

However, despite the fact that the principal didn't want me back, the district decided they would honor the contract. But, I will not be back teaching ASL at the high school. Instead, I will be a Teaching Assistant in a self-contained Special Education classroom. I will still get my teacher's salary...and will be paid through the end of August. In addition, I will continue with my benefits through the end of September, which is long enough for me to secure another teaching job and continue my benefits elsewhere. And, because I was sick for 3 weeks, rather than taking ALL of that out of my May 30 paycheck, the payroll department and the HR department re-calculated my contract so that the "sting" will be spread out through the next 4 months. Meaning, I will get a little less than my usual teaching salary each month, but it will be a consistent amount at the end of May, June, July and August. So, financially, I will be OK. Especially if I get the job for which I interviewed down in Vancouver.

And, I don't have to work this summer. I CAN work, but I don't HAVE to work. I might work part time...it depends. I just want to get through the end of the year right now. I have 5 weeks left until the last day of school. I can do it. And, this rearranging of my contract is a blessing. I can go to work, come home and not have to worry about lesson plans. I don't have to worry about being prepared as much as I would have with my previous assignment. It's quite relieving not having to worry about it. I will have to clear out my classroom of my personal belongings, but I'm going to do that on Thursday at 2:30...after students are gone. I get to bring my chair home! It's kinda cool!

Anyway, now I can go camping and not have to worry about taking time off a new job. YAY! I won't be able to go to Joyce Meyer with Moob on the 30th, but a small sacrifice for the bigger picture. As much as I would LOVE to go, I just can't.

So, that's the story in a nutshell. God has shown me grace and mercy in this situation and I have to be SO much more responsible. I can't stay home on too many "mental health" days. I can't blow my money with the idea that I'll get another paycheck at the end of the month. I can't spend any money until I know all of my bills are taken care of. I can't eat out. I can't just throw money away.

I hope that this situation won't ruin my chances of getting a teaching job for next year.

On a different note, I've applied to the University of Washington for Summer Quarter. I have been thinking (for quite some time) of going back to college and getting 1 more endorsement: English/Language Arts. It would open up so many more options for me. I could teach middle or high school English in addition to Elementary School, Special Ed and Deaf Ed. So, I would have 4 endorsements, plus subbing I could do. I was initially just going to pursue the additional endorsement...until I found out that as a non-matriculated student (that's the fancy way of saying I'm not pursuing an actual degree), I wouldn't qualify for federal financial aid. So.......I looked into what it would take as far as time and credits to complete another degree. I was thinking of a Masters in English, but I thought, nah, I already have a Masters degree. It was quite intense work. So, I looked into a Bachelors in English. If I can transfer all of my credits from the community college under the Direct Transfer Agreement or something like it, I should be able to JUST concentrate on the classes for my major. I can incorporate the courses I need for the endorsement AND the degree. So...I should come out WAY ahead. Now, I just have to figure out how to pay for it. Hopefully, I'll qualify for financial aid OTHER than loans. If not, I may not do it.

Sigh...

Going to make a box for a birthday gift.

Late...

It's now 11:02 and I'm still in the waiting room.

Sigh...

Truth Time...

I have an appointment at 11:00 with HR and my Principal and my Union Rep to see if I still have a job. I'm waiting in the waiting area in the district office.

I'm not nervous at all. Whatever happens, happens and I know I'll be alright. Either way, God will take care of me and those who depend on me.

Day Ninety-Three...Many Things On My Mind

1) Tomorrow, the 14th, Millyra goes away to 5th grade camp for 3 days. I'm a little weirded out by my feelings about it. She's not my birth child, but...I'm feeling a little weird about not havng her around for 3 days. I'm already thinking about her coming home with wonderful stories. I miss her already...and she's not even gone yet! Strange!

2) I still haven't heard from the district about my job. It's been a week and a half since I was given the all-clear by my doctor to return to work. The district seems to be dragging their feet. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE the fact that I'm on paid leave. But, my kids, unless they've found a sub who knows ASL, are missing out on their education.

3) I had an interview today at a private school for the deaf near my home (about 25 minutes south of where I live). It was an awkward interview. Well, actually, the interview went VERY well. It's for a Teacher of the Deaf position, but it's in a Signed Exact English program, whereas most my my adult experience and education is from an ASL program. So, part of me felt like a "traitor to the cause", but the majorty of me felt good about the possibilities it opens for me. It will allow me to work with professionals in the field. It will allow me to gain another year experience. It's a paycheck! And, the school is small enough that the administration are deeply involved in th3e classrooms...I like that. They'd like to make a decision by the end of this month.

4) Moob and I worked out for 75 minutes today. We rode 15 minutes on the stationary bike, walked 30 minutes on the treadmill, and did the weight circuit for 30 minutes. I don't hurt, but by ab muscles are a little unhappy with me.

5) I suck at managing my money. First, I mixed up the bank cards between my personal account and the household account, so I spent my $75 of grocery money on mother's day gifts and last minute ingredients for dinner. Second, I've been off work for going on 5 weeks, 3 of which were unpaid. I'm not sure, but I think I'll have a VERY tiny paycheck at the end of this month. I don't know if I'll have enough to pay my rent. I can call payroll tomorrow and find out. I MIGHT get the economic stimulus payment on Friday, but I don't know if I qualify for sure. If I get it, that will be a minimum of $300. I hope I get the $600.

6) I ran over someone's chihuahua today. On my way to the interview, I was on the highway, cruising at about 45 miles an hour with lots of traffic, when, literally out of no-where, this little chihuahua comes BOLTING onto the highway. I had seconds to react. I slammed on my breaks in an effort to avoid him, but looked back and realized the dude behind me was going to hit me. I couldn't afford that (though I'm insured, I can't be without a vehicle for work...when I go back). So, I let off the break and swerved my best to avoid a hit from both ends...but the dog was running at an angle. I busted right over him...it made me sick. It still makes me sick...

7) I should be in bed sleeping right now (1:15 am), but, of course, I can't sleep. I could have been in bed by 9 or so...well, even when Moob went to bed (11:00), I could have gone at the same time. But, instead, I watched a little TV, came up to bed and have been laying here for an hour. I'm tired, but every time I close my eyes, my mind starts to race.

8) Moob and I are scheduled to work out again tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it on one hand. But on the other (I'm still awake at 1:15 in the morning) hand, I'm dreading it. Maybe we can go later in the day...that might help.

9) I've applied for Financial Aid with the government. I submitted my FAFSA yesterday and it was processed today. My Expected Family Contribution is $0.00! That's awesome! Now, I just have to figure out how to apply for aid through the college. Generally, non-matriculated (not pursuing a degree) students don't get financial aid. So, I have an email in to the financial aid office. The deadline for summer application is May 15, so...

10) I think I'm done...

Day Ninety-Two...

Day Ninety-One...Mother's Day

I'm so thankful for my mom. We've grown so close over the last several years...we're AMAZING friends. It's been fun watching our relationship go from parent:child to woman:woman. We can confide anything to each other...and do! I'm so blessed...

So, for mother's day, I cooked dinner. I had a london broil marinading overnight. It was SO yummy! The marinade was from www.allrecipes.com...my new favorite cooking website. Anyway, the marinade was vegetable oil, balsamic vinegar, worcesterchire sauce, soy sauce, lemon juice, thyme, basil, oregano and dijon mustard. By the time I whisked everything together, it came out about the consistency of brown gravy. I put the meat in 2 zipper bags with the marinade, then put the bags in the fridge overnight. Man, oh, man, was that yummy! The only thing I did "wrong" (according the Sulla, our resident trained chef) was throwing the marinade out and not reducing it to make a sauce to go over the beef. However, he said it was perfect!

Then, for side dishes, I made baked fanned potatoes. I cut the potatoes about every 1/4 inch or so, but not all the way through. I used 2 of my wooden spoons as a knife guide. Then I fanned them out on a baking sheet. I sprinkled them with italian seasoning, sea salt and melted butter. Then, I baked them at 450 degrees for 50 minutes. Then, while the recipe called for cheddar, I added mozzarella, parmesan and parsley, sprinkling that mixture and finishing the baking process for another 15 minutes. A culinary masterpiece with a dollop of sour cream. Again, Sulla said they were perfect.

For veggies, we had a typical salad. I also cooked carrots and pearl onions in the frozen section with which I lightly tossed butter, lemon juice, salt and dill. Mmm...mmm...grubbin'!

I also cooked biscuits...just plain 'ol biscuits...directly from the can. Heh!

Finally, for dessert, I must confess. I made 2 desserts because I am so indecisive. It hurst my brain to decide what undies I'm going to wear with an outfit! So, I choose a peanut butter bar and a "7-layer" bar that actually only had 5 layers...hmmm...

And, again, Sulla, the trained, experienced expert in the field, told me everything was BRILLIANT! Oh, he didn't actually say it...but he MEANT it!

And Dilibririth, my mommy, loved it!

She gave me the best compliment. She saod, "You have become such a good cook". Now, I've never had confidence flowing out my pores, so to hear that my whole family, including the one who is trained to do things like this, approved...even said it was PERFECT!

Then came the coffee. Dilibririth and I had some coffee after dinner, and after the boys left and the dishes were done,to settle our tummies. It was quite good.

Also, today was a day I felt validated...

I've wanted to have children for a LONG time. Well, this morning, my pastor wanted to honor all mothers in the room. He made all of us women who were 21 and older stand up because, "[you] may not have any birth children, but [you're] mothering someone."

Wow...what a way to have your feelings acknowledged and validated. I got a flower and a chocolate bar for mother's day!

Day Ninety...More Bitter than Sweet

Grey Cloak, my dad, is the most amazing man I know. He has such a gentle, gracious, giving, peace-making spirit...

Back in November, Grey Cloak invited a young man from his work, Angarator, and his 6-year old son, Findecano, to come stay in their spare bedroom until they could get back on their feet. Angarator is an addict who had just gotten out of rehab. Well, this arrangement went very well for the first month or so. Well, really through December 31st when Angarator was arrested on a probation violation and thrown into jail for 3 weeks. My parents watched Findecano for those 3 weeks. Angarator used my phone to make collect calls to keep in touch with his son. He finally got out and, again, was doing well. Then he started not coming home on Friday nights after work, leaving Findecano with my folks or brother. He'd shut off his phone so he wouldn't be bothered. He wouldn't return phone calls. Nothing.

When he was confronted, he confessed what he had done and promised not to do it again. He started to earn a little trust back. Well, my brother loaned him some gas money by letting him use his debit card at the bank. Well, Angarator stole nearly $300 from my brother. We also suspect he stole $250 from my mother's purse, not to mention the times he's promised to turn over most, if not all, his pay on Fridays.

Well, during all this time, we have seen Findecano change...from good to bad. He's 6. He's still very impressionable...and he's smart. He knows what's going on, though he can't put words to it, yet. During the time Angarator was in jail, Findecano did SO well. He was choosing to behave rather than acting up. He was being very good. As soon as dad came back from jail, that all changed. He started lying and stealing. He started sassing back. He started having the most ROTTEN, back-talking attitude.

Angarator has been given chance, upon chance, upon chance. Each time, he has thumbed his nose at Grey Cloak. Grey Cloak has done everything possible...including offering (at 54 years old) to go take the classes to become a foster parent again for Findecano, while Angarator was in treatment (he fell off the wagon several times). Angarator, being as selfish as he is, refused.

Chance after chance, time after time, Grey Cloak has wanted to give Angarator the benefit of the doubt. Had Findecano not been in the picture, I truly believe Angarator would have been out long ago. But, how could he send a 6-year old out to live in a car? He couldn't. Sulla and Dilibririth couldn't quite see that. Grey Cloak was between a rock and a hard place. But, he did the best he could.

So, fast forward to last night. Angarator had told Grey Cloak that he'd be back Friday night around 11:30 or so...which came and went. Then, he called and said he'd be home by noon...which also came and went. Finally, he called and said he'd be there by 6:30...which ALSO came...and...went. Meanwhile, we have his child. He left his child overnight without arranging it previously. Well, Grey Cloak decided that he'd had enough and told him on the phone several times that he needed to be home asap.

... ... ...

Of course, he took his sweet time getting home. He didn't show up until nearly 3 hours AFTER he told Grey Cloak he'd be there.

Now, the part I'm sad about is the fact that Findecano had to get mixed up in all this. He's only a boy...he deserves so much better, so much more, so much more unconditional love and parenting than Angarator can give him.

I also see that Angarator gets a child he doesn't really want while I am stuck here childless, wanting the children I can't have.

... ... ...

Sigh

So, Findecano is in God's hands now, wherever he is, protecting him, loving him, nurturing him, ready to come running when he realizes he can't do it himself.

I wish I could see that day...among others...

Day Eighty-Nine...Sigh

So, as directed, I contacted the HR department on Friday to see if I had a job on Monday. I actually called early the morning, I heard nothing. So, I emailed the about noon. Again, I heard nothing. So, called the principal about 3:30, left a message, then heard nothing. Finally, I emailed everyone again at 3:30. About 15 minutes later, I heard back and the HR woman said that they would be working this weekend and would let me know what to do come Monday. She instructed me that I am NOT to come to work until I hear affirmatively that I am to return to work.

Sigh...

Kinda weird, but, whatever! Until then, I'm on paid administrative leave...I get a paid vacation.

I'm running out of things to do...

Except cleaning my room...I could do that :-D

Day Eighty-Eight...Awaiting Answers

So, my fate lies in the hands of complete strangers. I know how defendants on trial feel, but the people judging my case aren't even a jury of my peers. Still, I am not anxious about being fired. I AM anxious about finding out one way or the other. I AM anxious about getting back to work and finishing the school year with my students and well. I AM anxious about building trust with my students in the next 5-6 weeks left of school. I AM anxious that when I go to apply to my next job, this will have a negative impact on me getting that job.

Sigh...

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, make your requests known to God."

"And the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus."

Two of the verses I live by.

I have peace and confidence, not in myself and my abilities, but in the fact that God will take care of the situation in the way His name will be most glorified...despite me and anything I can do.

On the home front, Moob and Olorin are going out of town tomorrow, leaving Millyra at home with me for the weekend. I'm excited! It hasn't been just her and I...well, ever, I think! Heh! That's because we all live together and wherever Moob goes, Millyra goes. But this weekend, I have some fun things planned. First and foremost, SHRIMP! We are the 2 in the house that LOVE shrimp! We don't ever eat it because 1) it's expensive, and 2) we wouldn't eat it just ourselves in front of Moob and Olorin. So, it's gonna be steak and shrimp. And, we'll probably do some baking...maybe some movies. Just have an all-over girl's weekend! Then, we'll go to church with my parents and brother for Mother's Day and come back to my place for dinner. Haven't figured out what I'm cooking, yet. I DO have a London Broil I could cook if I got some more propane for the BBQ. That would be good, picking up some baby red potatoes and cooking them with some veggies. Yum! I think I might do that...

And, I'll have Sulla (my bro) figure out some dessert or something. He did that last year. He and Millyra made individual tiramisu bowls. Yum!

Or, we just might get a watermelon or something.

We'll see...

A Good Meeting...

So, I got to the meeting and there were SO many different accusations they had for me...in addition to me being out for so long sick.

1) No Substitute Plans

~ Ok, that's just rediculous. Do I LOOK stupid? Why would I submit an absence and not submit sub plans? The first 2 times, the sub didn't get my plans and my students complained. So, since that time, I've emailed the secretary at the high school with a copy of my lesson plans...to cover my bahookie (thanks Andrew!). So, the principal will have to check with the secretary on that.

2) No daily work

~ Students were complaining to the principal that they don't have daily work to do. Uhhhh...again, rediculous! ASL is a visual language, not a written one, so the work we do isn't going to be written down. I explained to the principal that I have daily participation points that is a major chunk of student grades. If students come to class and participate by following directions, behaving well and doing their work, they get all the points for the day. If they're late, they get 2 points off. If they don't show, they don't get the points. They can make them up by doing outside work (like if they're gone for a field trip or other school related issues), but if after 1 week, it's not made up, they get a zero for that day. And, that has been my policy from day one!

3) I told all my students I was going to give them all failing grades despite the work they turn in and they were worried they wouldn't be able to participate in graduation.

~ No. I told the principal I would NEVER say ANYTHING like that. That would not be fair to the students who actually come to class and do the work (like the ones I can count on 2 hands!). I told the principal (and the others at the meeting) that if a student fails the class it's because they earned it.

4) I never posted any grades for students.

~ Well, this is malarkie because I spent many hours at home grading papers and entering them in the gradebook. All my students, and their parents, have been given the website to access their grades. If they have internet connection (which you can always get at the local library), they can have access to their grades. I HAVE to keep up on it...otherwise, I'll have 85 kids asking to see their grades every day!

5) I neglected to submit quarter grades for students.

~ That's because I was given incomplete information about how to submit grades. I was told by the Tech Education/Computer Teacher (who also happens to be my Department Chair at the high school) that I could enter the grades and be "good to go". So, I did. I entered them and was good to go! I even entered comments on their quarter grades because I wanted parents to know that their students' grades were lower because they hadn't completed a major (100 point) assignment by its due date. I subsequently gave them an extension because the material is valuable and I want them do have it, but they will not receive 100%. They had 6 weeks to read this book and do the report (6 pages, double-spaced, standard margins...oh, I did forget to say 12 point font...one student gave me his paper with a 21 point font...sheesh!). I even gave them multiple opportunities to read IN CLASS because we don't have enough books for all the students. They still didn't do the assignment. Well, 2 of them did. Well, 1 completed 5 of 6 pages and one gave me a 6 page paper with the 21 point font. I retyped it and it came out, at a 12 point font with standard margins, to be a 2 page paper. COME ON!

6/7) I had bad classroom management.

~ Yes, I do have bad classroom management...here. For some reason, I cannot make my kids mind. I have tried to be harsh, I have tried to be nice. I even tried bribing them with candy. NOTHING WORKS! I'm nearly bald from pulling my hair out over frustration. I spend most of my time within the classroom working on behavior modification/correction. This leads into another issue about administrative support. In my defense, the former teacher let me nearly nothing by way of instruction on what to do. So, I don't have a handbook. When I told the HR woman that, she (very snippy) said, "Well, could you have gotten one from another teacher?" When, I said yes, she said, "well, why didn't you?" I said, "Well, I asked [my department head] where I could get a handbook or if I could borrow hers. She took me to [the vice principal] who told me he'd have one for me by the end of that week." She cut me off and turned to the principal and said, "Did she ever ask you for one? Is it online?" I told her, "I didn't feel the need to ask him after I'd asked the VP for one. Then it slipped my mind and I supposed that it was up to me to make that decision on sending students to the administrators." She came across very huffy...not at all like she was trying to find out what happened at all. Fortunately, the principal said that some of the information is online, but he has a separate hard-copy handbook that is handed out to all teachers at the beginning of the year. Well, I wasn't there at the beginning of the year (DER!)

8) I show "R" rated movies without permission.

~ No, I showed 1 "R" rated movie that had already been approved (according to the curriculum of the previous teacher) and 1 move that was made-for-TV, so it didn't have a rating on the website I purchased it from. The sub this last week turned it on and discovered some suggestive language and nudity. The sub shut it off and didn't plug in the other movie (that I know was rated no more than PG-13). Instead, the sub told the principal about it. Which, I can understand. As a sub, if I was asked to do something questionable, I would probably talk to the principal, too. So, it was not the sub's fault.

So...those are pretty much the things they complained about...in addition to my extended illness. So, as of right now, I am on paid administrative leave (yay for the rest of the week off!) until they make a decision on what they're going to do. It's all in God's hands right now and I have faith that whatever happens is for a reason and I'll be OK. Moob is a little (ok, probably a lot) concerned about it financially. She won't be able to float me and the new roomie. And, that's totally understandable. It's not a complaint against Moob at all. In fact, it was she and mom-squared that convinced me to go in today. And, it was a good thing I did. The HR woman had emailed me (at my school address, to which I had no access since Thursday) saying that I had a meeting scheduled yesterday and if I didn't respond by noon on May 8th, I would be in breach of my contract and be fired on the spot. So, the prompting of the Holy Spirit was on Moob and mom-squared (my mom and Moob's mom). It was good I listened! At least now I have a chance.

I'll keep you posted.

Union Rep...

Just showed up...

Here goes nothing!

The Plan Is...

At 9:00 my union rep will come to the district office. She and I will talk. Then we will meet with "everyone else"...which probably means the Assistant Superintendent of HR, my Principal (cuz he was just here), my department head, my department supervisor, my union rep and me.

I honestly have no idea what's going to happen. I'm hoping for the best (seeing that there is only 6 weeks left of the school year) and preparing for the worst (since there is only 6 weeks left of school and they've had a sub for the last 3 weeks...)

Sigh...

I just want it to be over...

But, it doesn't lok like I'll be working today, so I can have my interview at 2:30 as originally scheduled.

Sigh...

More Waiting...

The Assistant Superintendent of HR has just informed me that they had a meeting scheduled for yesterday with my Union Rep and had done all of their communicating through the district email. I informed her I didn't have access to it as of last Thursday. So, I get to wait here to see if they can put together a meeting quickly for me. If not, we'll have to reschedule.

Sigh...

I don't think I have a job anymore...

Sigh...

On my way...

To the district office to meet with HR.

In the Office...

I'm sitting in the office at the high school...waiting to see what is going on with me and my job...

It's a nail-biter...

God has all things in control...

I may have shot myself in the foot...

I should stop being such a victim of circumstances and just deal with life no matter what happens...

Sigh...

Update...

After much deliberation and chatting with those about whose opinions I care, I am going in to work tomorrow...if for nothing else than to show up. As Moob and Mom-squared have pointed out, if they've already made up their mind, it's better to go and get it over with than to prolong the inevitable.

And, Moob, I wasn't angry at you tonight. I just have a hard time with that cond of confrontation. I shut down because I don't know what to say to you. It's like accusing someone of being in denial: no matter how hard I tell you I'm not in denial, you think it's because I'm denying the fact that I'm in denail. A vicious cycle with no way out...

And, it's hard hearing you talk about what I'm doing as a bad thing when you've been doing the same thing. I know you care about me and are concerned. I appreciate that. Thank you. Just have a little more faith in me and my abilities to get through and come out the other side much better than when I went in.

(^_^)

Thanks...

Day Eighty-Seven...Getting Nervous

Ok, so, I went online and found that my district now has a substitute arranged for me for the remainder of the week. I was told by the Principal Monday morning that he already had the sub for Monday and Tuesday and I would come in on Wednesday. Also, Wednesday, we'd have a meeting with the union rep. Now, I was totally prepared to be fired on Wednesday. I'm NOT prepared to have a sub in my class when I'm going in. Finally, I emailed my principal, the vice principal and my director asking what's going on. I told them that I would wait to do to hear from them before I do anything...

But, now I'm getting advice to go in. Well, I'm not sure I'm going to do that. I'll see in the morning...

I'll keep you posted.

On a better note, I have 2 interviews this week and next. One is for a teaching job in Shoreline and one is for a job in the summer at WSD. I should be fine...I just wish others could see it.

Day Eighty-Six...False Alarm

So, I was intending on returning to work today. After all, I haven't seen my kids in a month! I've been off for Spring Break, then sick for 3 weeks. Mt doctor gave me the Ok to head back to work today. Gosh...5:15 comes SO early, but at least it's light out. I seem to be solar-powered. If I have to get up early, I do better if it's light out.

Anyway...

So, I'm getting up, getting ready to shower when I get a call from my principal. He tells me he's glad I've been OK'd to return to work and that I'm feeling better. However, since I took such an extended absence, he authorized a substitute through Tuesday and that I would be able to return on Wednesday. Ok...I can do that.

The part that made me a little nervous (ok, a LOT nervous) was the fact that he said we would have a meeting on Wednesday with my union rep present. That's like going in to the principal's office and finding your parents have already been told everything that's going on and you're gonna be in BIG trouble when you get home. Ya, that's what my stomach feels like right now. No fun...

But they just CAN'T fire me...first, I'm in a contract. Second, I've been out because of a medical illness.

Sigh...

So, I've been looking for jobs elsewhere. Offices, other schools. I'll have to wait until Wednesday to see if I still have a job or I need to schedule any interviews.

Sigh...

I really wanted this job. Makes me sad I'm not going back in the fall. I DO know God has everything in control and everything happens for a reason and nothing happens without His knowledge and approval. Of THAT I am certain. The only drawback to being fired (ok, besides not having any money) is that I'll have to work this summer. I was SO looking forward to doing anything I wanted...or nothing at all! If I lose this job, I'll have to work this summer...not a BIG deal, but I was very much looking forward to having the time off and working if I WANTED to. I even applied for a short gig down at Washington School for the Deaf in Vancouver, WA for 2 weeks in the Total Immersion Sign Language Program. People come for a 6-day workshop where everything is conducted in ASL. EVERYTHING! No voices for 6 days! It's going to be GREAT! I can't get my students to turn their voices off for 6 minutes, let alone an entire period, an entire day! And there is 2 workshops. So it's a total of 12 days, working with people who WANT to be there, who have paid MONEY to be there, and are SERIOUS about improving their skills. I submitted my application a few days ago...we'll see what happens!

Sigh...

Nudge

http://nudgearts.blogspot.com/

Aw Hell Yeah

http://awhellyeahpoetry.blogspot.com/

Day Eighty-Five...Back to Work.

So, I'm heading back to work tomorrow after 3 weeks of sickness and 1 week of vacation (Spring Break). I'm feeling so much better (from the sickness) and not so good at the same time. I haven't been able to access my work email for 2 days. I get an error stating that Internet Explorer could not display the page. Technically, that tells me that their server is down because if they had denied me access, it would have said Access Denied, or something. But, it doesn't, so...

I also checked the online sub finder and the administration has scheduled a sub for tomorrow and Tuesday. I was told that, because I had an extended illness, I couldn't come back until I had official release from my doctor. Well, I went to the doctor on Friday and she gave me the return to work authorization. She faxed it to them that afternoon. So, they probably got the sub before the close of business on Friday.

I'm in a contract through the end of the year. They shouldn't be able to fire me...I AM in a contract. However, if you've read about my luck with this job, you'll know they've NEVER been on my side.

So, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow. I'm going to work, but there will be a sub in my classroom for 2 days. I have no idea what to expect.

I'll keep you posted...

Day Eighty-Four...Another Trip to the Doctor

A few months ago, I went to the Walk-in Clinic by my house because I had some pain in my left foot...moreso than normal for being this large. They took x-rays and told me I either had a stress fracture or a chip in my ankle...it was so small, he couldn't quite tell without an MRI. So, he put me in a walking cast and sent me on my merry way, telling me that it should be better in 4 - 6 weeks. Well, I went about 3 weeks and, in an unrelated appointment, was advised by my chiropractor to see a podiatrist because that area of the foot is not one that should be left to heal on it's own. So, I made an appointment with the podiatrist to whom my chiropractor referred me.

And today was that appointment...about 4 weeks after I made the appointment!

This doctor, Dr. Nishimoto of the Northwest Foot and Ankle Clinic in Everett (plug) was a great doctor. He's a Christian, which is always nice. But, moreso, he was very kind, had a great bed-side manner, and was straightforward with me, letting me know the possibilities for treatment of my condition...which, by the way, I've had since I was a young...not since I got fat. It's congenital...meaning I was born with it and it has progressively gotten worse over time. I have fallen arches and tendonitis in both feet...but more severe in the left foot.

So, for right now, I'm in a air-cast on my left foot because of the pain, while my doctor works with my insurance company to get some orthotics for my shoes to, hopefully, push my arches back up where they belong...thereby avoiding surgery to repair the one pinky-sized tendon holding my arch up. He said, right now, it's a little over stretched which is what is causing the pain. If we can get my arches back up where they belong, the tendon doesn't have to work quite as hard holding it up and it won't get torn or stretched out beyond repair.

I also have to get new shoes...running shoes...that have more support. New Balance with an 800 or higher number...the higher the number, the better. Yay, shopping!

And, I have a note from my doctor that restricts my standing to 1 hour in an 8 hour period! They're gonna LOVE me at work for that. Fortunately, I have desks I can move around so my students can see me and a higher chair, like a drafting chair, I can sit on for most of the day. So, that'll be cool...

And, I'm feeling better from my URI. The doctor at the Walk-in Clinig gave me 1 more round of prednizone, stronger and longer, to knock the holy heck out of this infection so I can go back to work on Monday. It seems to be working a bit better this time. I should be good to go. I'm still going to my regular doctor for a check-up on Friday to make sure there's nothing else hiding, causing these severe symptoms. The doc at the Walk-in Clinic said I should have been feeling MUCH better by now. Anyway, my regular doctor will do the follow-up and she'll give me a release back to work. I tell you, even though I've been sick, it's been nice sleeping in, staying up late, living in my PJs! I've even almost read an entire pleasure book from cover-to-cover! Now, the cough? That's another story. That's been a pain in my backside...literally. I lost 9 pounds in a little over a week because all I could do was eat chicken soup or cream of wheat and cough all day and night. I have GREAT abs, now! Well...not really! Anyway, on Saturday, I went grocery shopping and could barely make it to 2 stores without feeling like I was going to pass out. Today, not the case. Still coughing quite a bit, especially going from a warm store to a cold out doors, but my energy is coming back. I definitely welcome that!

And, speaking of energy, (Sarah, you'll appreciate this!) I should have a lot more of that after this weekend, too. Last week I was officially diagnosed with Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea. It runs in my family. My parents have it, my paternal grandfather had it, his brothers had it...we figure my paternal great-grandfather had it, too. He snored like a freight train, as did my grandfather and father! Now, like my mom, I don't snore, but I stop breathing when I sleep, first because I have such a small airway to begin with. My tonsils are huge and my throat is small (thanks, mom!). And second, because the muscles in my airway relax so much when I sleep that it cuts off my air supply. My brain starts registering that no air is coming (no oxygen...which feeds the brain and keeps me, you know, alive!), so my brain wakes up my body enough to put those muscles into motion to allow the airway constrictions to decrease, thus allowing oxygen into my bloodstream and brain. I've been depriving my brain of the oxygen it needs to thrive and my body the sleep it needs to rest and rejuvinate itself, repair itself and gear up for the next days activites. Hmmm..mo wonder I'm tired all the time! And, not it's not just because I'm fat and lazy!

But, that should all change after this weekend. I'm heading back to the sleep clinic on Saturday evening to be tested again and calinrated on a C-PAP machine. C-PAP stands for constant positive air pressure. Basically, it's a maching with a mask I wear when I sleep that is designed to force air into my lungs to keep me constantly breathing so my brain can relax and not have to wake me up to breathe, and my body can rest throughout the night and recuperate from the day. If it works for me like it worked for my mom, I should see an almost instant change in my energy level...which will GREAT because then I can do the things I want to do...like have the energy and stamina to work out...or walk my dog now that the weather is nicer...or just get up and clean the house without feeling absolutely drained after cleaning one room. That'll be a nice change...